Stalwart

To be tough but not hardened, my thought dilemma as of late.
I had the chance to review an article about body image and adjustment for burn survivors this week and it has brought me face to face with more of my wonderings.

Survivors need thick skin to deal with the public – the curious – the kids – the stares – the comments that can catch you unaware.
But surely my self-concept is not so weak that I am disturbed  by a stare?But what of a hundred – a thousand –  all taking their toll?

I rarely plan for my thoughts to turn into a whine-fest, though I’m sure many would see them that way, at least in academia circles. It’s hard to understand why we would still be grieving after so many years. To them it could point to a lack of adjustment, seem like attention-seeking, playing the victim.

It’s difficult to get beyond the need to feel understood, to crave validation. Why do we have such a desire for it?

Maybe if I never write another word on paper, all my wonderings will disappear and be laid to rest. Perhaps my writing is more conditioning than cathartic. It becomes a reality I cling to and can’t let go of.

Then God save me from my own ramblings!
Take this struggle and make me strong.
Not cynical nor full of self-doubt.
Not whiny nor a seeker of accolades.

Just a stalwart presence
Unshaken by the storms and scars of life.