Which is easier to deal with, the outright gawk or six furtive glances? (And yes, I counted – during a 30 second encounter making a holiday purchase.) For those of us living with a facial difference, it’s a legitimate question.
I’ve been mulling this one over for a few weeks. On different days I may have a different answer, but I think I prefer the gawk. It’s far easier to disrupt with a smile and pithy conversational comment. The furtive stuff sends the hair on the back of my neck into warp-speed-abort-mission overdrive.
I’ve been talking to a new survivor’s mom about community reentry for her teenage son this week and battling to give an accurate picture by neither sugarcoating nor painting it too harshly. We can prepare ourselves with some effective social skills tools and on a good day, they make all the difference.
The trick comes on one of those bad days, even for us seasoned survivors, when you are caught unprepared and squash the gracious response you know you should give, ripping the receipt out of the clerk’s hand with a glare. Ugh.
New Year’s Resolution: Stop Shopping?
Realistic New Year’s Resolution: Try a little harder next time to not squash grace…
If we could gawk at the damage inside the gawkers–that damage that can’t be seen with the eye–we would all most likely seek to see and understand why they have no comprehension as to why their stares are heinous, since their damage is so evident in actions unfeeling and void of human understanding. I’ve witnessed the ignorant stares of gawkers and pity their inability to comprehend that which is truly beautiful.